Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Andrew Sullivan's Hamlet

Andrew Sullivan in his long drawnout conversion from Bush supporter to Kerry supporter in ten long acts has now come to a close. Please enjoy this translation of the Shakespearean classic, Hamlet--starring, you guessed it, the blogosphere's greatest thespian and melodramatic blogger, Andrew Sullivan:


HAMLLIVAN: O woe that this too, too sullied GOP, should reveal itself as wicked and untrue, casting same-sex marriage hopelessly askew,

Or that the Bush daughters should speak of Sex and city, their speech was self slaughter. O God, God, how weary, stale, flat and unprofitable seem to me all the uses of this party!

Fie on't, ah, fie, 'tis an unweeded garden that grows to seed. Things rank and gross in nature such as a cross-dressing ex-mayor, a dissident Californian and an unelected ex-librarian are now hateful to me.

True thoughts possess me. That it should come to this, but five months I have debated, and found so excellent this man Kerry, that he is to Bush as Hyperion to a satyr, so loving to my agenda that the winds of heaven shall not keep me from embracing Kerry too firmly.

Must I remember Bush? Why, should I hang on to him if he spurns the issues that burn in my soul? Let me not think on GOP heterodoxy.

In but few months, these eyes are old with hurt from which I followed my poor agenda's demise. Tears, why it, even they --

O GOP, a beast that wants discourse without reason, would they have only debated longer -- married my agenda or halted from doing it harm, but 'stead I watched it expire at the hands of the faithless.

The salt of most righteous tears has left me spent.

It is not nor it cannot come to good. But break. I have broken my heart, for I have held my tongue.

No more say I! No more!

O, Kerry, Kerry come forth with most wicked speed, to avenge me my hurt! Smite down this false King Bush and this orgiast bodybuilder who speaks for him. He has not thine worth' to be King!

Yes, for Andrew Sullivan, the long drawn out act and slow fake conversion to Kerry's camp is at last over.

;-) SDAI-Tech1

Mr. Sullivan has been so kind to link to the performance and as it turns out he did play Hamlet in Grad school. The Muses must laugh at we mortals who hear their whispers from time to time. Just one of those eerie Kerryesque 'Blogs imitate life therefore bloggers are the heart and soul of America' moments.

UPDATE 2: Mr. Sullivan has now (a day later) declared that he cannot support Bush in November. I hope I didn't blog him over the edge. That makes two for two. I just wanted to announce that I will now be giving 'psychic readings' and 'blog your future' for $1000 per consultation. For another $10,000 I'll use the new Lapham-drive time machine which I've already tested. ;-)


  1. SDAI-Tech1,
    You are very under rated by people at some other BBS's I can think of. Keep up the good work. Your insights, humor and originality are lost on many. I wish you very good results in your efforts, and appreciate your postings.

  2. One word:



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