Non-disclosure (Part 35)

"So you see, that this is the breakthrough of a lifetime for the entire planet. We have to go public with some of this."

Isis is in my office. As usual she's done the impossible and cracked the Atlantean script. As far as I know, she did not ask for any assistance from Yal-hune, and I don't think Yal-hune would assist in such matters. Regardless, Isis has been reading many of the Atlantean texts and has only slept 6 out of the last 34 hours because she could not get herself to stop reading the many Atlantean texts once she could translate it.

"Why do we have to go public? Make your case."

"These books contain the history of the past 1,000,000 years on Earth. This is human history here and everyone on Earth has a right to know it!"

"A right?"

"Well...they deserve to know it!"

"Who does? The people preparing fake tombstones on their lawns to scare the neighborhood little kids? Are those the sterling ones who are interested in the past million years of human history? Or is it the college professors busy teaching history as they want it to be viewed? Are those fossilized, left-leaning, crooked and inflexible trees the ones who deserve to know the real history of the planet? Or could it be the kids who are, right this moment, getting the answers for their homework by asking strangers on the web to do it for them on Yahoo Answers? Or playing on their Wii? Or playing Vice City for hour number 2,356? No. The world deserves what it has. They don't deserve this. Try again."

"God, you can be a son-of-a-bitch at times! Okay. Okay. Let's put it in reverse - can you tell me NO one out there deserves to know the million year history of Earth we have just uncovered?"

"Yes, I can. The world's not ready for this. Not now. The leaders of this world are Grade A idiots - each and every single one. The governments are jokes. Our government is a joke. The masses are not capable of using any of this knowledge constructively. It would BURDEN them. They don't care about what happened 50 years ago - much less 1 million! Teachers can't manage to cover even the several hundred years of fairly well known human history they are charged with disseminating to their pupils. It's just way too much. And when they know we have these books - what do you think they are going to want? You think they give a rat's tush about history? No way. They will want to know how this stuff can serve them - make them richer, live longer or have power over others. If it doesn't make their life 'better' knowledge is worthless."

"Someone out there cares. You know they do. Some children, some teachers, some parents, some people. Not everyone deserves to be demonized by you, you self-righteous SOB!"

"Make your case. WHO? WHY? Who NEEDS to know this and why? You know they are getting along swimmingly without it, right now. You KNOW that all this information and history will be just as useless as history of the Byzantine empire is to the average 5th grader."

Isis is in tears. I hate to play the devil's advocate, but for now these things need to be kept under wraps.

"Your heart is in the right place, but you know that the world is not ready, does not care and - to be brutally honest - does not deserve this information. Don't cry. Get some sleep. We'll talk about it more later. None of these things are running away."

Isis lifts her head, "Underneath your nice guy exterior, lurks a man who is really heartless."

"You may think so. I used to think like you do, Isis. I really did. I was naive and believed people were basically good and caring. Time passed and a learned more about people. It's this knowledge that you still lack. You're still young. Wait another decade or two and we'll see if you don't see things quite differently. But, like I said - get some sleep. You're exhausted."

"I cracked the script...I have a right."

"You have the right to get some sleep. You seriously need some sleep."

"What happened to you? You really hate humanity don't you?"

Something in her words strikes a chord. Even though I have been working for humanity for decades now, her words sting with an unrecognized truth.

"I don't hate humanity. I understand it."

"I don't think you do. You look down on everyone. You judge them -often mercilessly. What happened to you? When did it change? Who hurt you so bad that you can't see the good in humanity any more?"

"Nice try. The personal attack technique won't work either. The data stays here."

"...because you hate humanity. You might as well complete the sentence."

"If you want to believe that, that is fine with me."

"I'm, surprised I never saw this in you before today. Sure, bits and pieces have emerged but now I see the big picture. Go ahead keep those texts on your shelf. Have them classified eyes only and keep it out of all the grubby human fingers that don't live up to your standards."

"That's enough. You may return to your quarters."

"Fine. I don't think I enjoy looking at you right now anyways."

Isis walks out and I'm surprised at her fury and even more surprised at her personal attack on me, which bordered on insubordination. I think of what Yal-hune had told me about my pasts and how I did hate humanity when living on other worlds. Is it possible, even now, that I have harbored this hatred of humanity, unrecognized? Is there really someone out there who could use this knowledge constructively? Are there any kids who would really care? Do they need to care? Am I creating some arbitrary litmus test of worthiness, because I really don't care about humanity?

I'm tired too. I half keep expecting Yal-hune to chime in my head and take sides with Isis but, fortunately, I think she is asleep.

However, I realize I need to analyze my thoughts and attitude a bit closer.