The thumpety thump of the uneven pavement causes the SUV's tires to vibrate uncomfortably and I adjust my speed to compensate for the harmonic resonance. At the stoplight, a young girl in the driver's seat of the car next to me holds her small dog while texting. She meets my eye, smirks briefly, and continues to text. The rear bumper on the car in front of it has a sticker that says "hang up and drive!" A sticker she clearly is oblivious to. I see a big white truck crossing the intersection and the driver is balancing the steering wheel between his forearms while using both hands to text. It's all surreal and unbelievable.
The world is changing and phones and texting are now everywhere, causing a record amount of accidents on the road - and changing the lifestyle of the American family. Communication by mouth is dying and being replaced by digital bits sent over a narrow band of frequencies. Families are less connected and each family member has their own TV, computer and cell phone - so that they can entertain themselves and need not interface with their siblings, children or parents. On car trips DVD players in the car entertain the young ones, and the older ones text away. Parents seem not to want to talk to their children anymore...and I find that rather sad.
I really try not to bias it all. But it's so hard! WWYD? What Would Yal-hune Do? She would see it all on perfect equilibrium and see the good in all this. I find it discomfiting that I constantly see only the bad. I know it's true. Everything is equal parts good and negative from an infinite perspective - but why can't I even see even 5 percent of the good? Why is my life a series of negative biases? Why is every day a battle just to see anyone or any event in true perspective?
Is this the way it is for everyone on Earth? Is this what living on an overshadowed world must be like? A world where every positive and happy thought is quickly recognized, derailed and shattered? Is this why so many take anti-depressants? Simply because they don't even know about the overshadowers and think all this depression is really them?
I return home. I check my email. I have so many email accounts, some of which still are only accessible on a fortezza carded computer, that it takes way too much time to check them all. I am trying to lay the groundwork for releasing the MIMIR data and artifacts via a novel. So, I had contacted Russell Galen, Diana Gabaldon's agent. Still no response. I don't know Russell Galen from Adam, but then the secret agent world and literary agent world don't travel in the same circles. But Isis always spoke lovingly of the Outlander series and its authoress, Diana Gabaldon. Isis has an IQ of 160 and she reads far more fiction than I do, so I went out and bought some books of Gabaldon's and tried to read them. I confess I couldn't get past the names and the Scottish brogue, though they were very well written. Perhaps I've had too many dismal past lives in this region or perhaps women are hardwired for the romance stuff and it's a much tougher read for men. Maybe it's just me. However, I looked up who her agent was and sent off a cover letter. If there's one thing my years at SDAI have taught me, it is always try to get the best for any task. It always makes things easier. Whether a driver, pilot, marksman or engineer - the best makes it all seem easy. But so far no response. All this knowledge needs the proper outlet. I suppose I should contact other agents, but I always follow inspiration and will follow Isis' suggestion. She is the one who wanted the Atlantean texts and lost history to get out more than anyone. I owe it to her to do my best. When the time is right, the best will appear and everything will fall into place.
The Norchans probably are well aware of my plans to disseminate this knowledge, technology and history, and with an hour for every one of our minutes one sees how easy it is for them to outmaneuver Earth - and me - at every turn. They have plenty of time to react and manipulate. I have to catch myself from biasing it negatively every time I think about it. If the Norchans can control multiple minds in DC and orchestrate a full scale military assault on Shamballa - they can probably influence everyone I come into contact with to some degree. It's a terrible burden to think that anyone I meet is placed in mental jeopardy, just because they are interfacing with me. I confess that I force myself not to think about that. If I thought about it too much, it would paralyze me.
Yal-hune is still working on the house. I have given her almost no instructions or requests. I'm letting her have complete control over the design and I know it will turn out spectacular. I can't wait until the shielding is in place and activated.
Yesterday, Tech2 called and felt compelled to brief me on the China missions and upcoming missions SDAI has been asked by Obama to perform in Afghanistan. "You can't stop being a secret agent" he said. I told him I could and what's more that I now see how my position trained me to view the world and the people in it - a never ending critical outlook. He confided that he never realized how tough my job was until he had to make more of the tough decisions. He played the guilt trip card and said morale is way down since I left. I think he knows I'm not coming back. It's clear he's the right person for the Tech1 job. The right person for Tech1 has always been someone who does not want to be Tech1. A good secret agent is one that never wanted to be one.