Saturday, August 21, 2004

The Phone Call

"I can't pretend those calls (from Kerry) had no effect on me, but that is not why I am writing this," Rood said. "What matters most to me is that this is hurting crewmen who are not public figures and who deserved to be honored for what they did. My intent is to tell the story here and to never again talk publicly about it."

Thanks to the wiretaps the intelligence community have on any phone Kerry and Theresa use, I can bring you the contents of the Kerry-Rood phone call.


Rood: "Night Editor Rood speaking, who's this?"

Kerry: "This is John Kerry. Is this The Rood who served in Vietnam on a swiftboat?"

Rood: (laughter) I was wondering how soon I was going to be approached by somebody about this. So what do you want Mr.War hero?"

Kerry: "I want you to support me and bolster my account of what transpired and how I won my medals."

Rood: (more laughter) Okay... let me guess you figure because I'm working for the Chicago Tribune, I'm a liberal who will just fall in line. I DO remember what happened on those swiftboats and I might be persuaded to discuss it...ONE time and one time only.

Kerry: "How does persuasion to the tune of one million in an untraceable Swiss bank account sound?"

Rood: "I think I can recall now how you saved everybody. It's getting pretty darn clear."

Kerry: "Good. We have a script for you to read. Do you have a personal fax number?"

Rood: "Yeah it's (unintelligible)"

Kerry: Burn the copy after you've memorized it. It has all the media numbers and how to access the nameless Swiss account on it.

Rood: "Remember no interviews after the ONE time. I'm not going to sign anything or get caught in anything that's going to bite me back more than a million times."

Kerry: "No problem. We can be more persuasive if necessary."

Rood: "Yeah, I'll bet you can."


The rest as we say is history.

The accounts portrayed in this blog are fictional any similarity to persons lying or bribed is purely coincidental. All financial numbers and the location of bank accounts have been changed to protect the guilty.

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