1985

I'm driving between Del Mar and La Jolla, California on a stretch of Pacific Coast Highway that extends between the two and overlooks the ocean. The salt air wafts over the Torrey Pines dotting the roadside and is cool but not cold. The car phone in my convertible rests on the transmission hump. I glance at it because the phone is ringing.

I pick up the white handset.

"Hello?"

"Is this..."

"Yes, who is calling please?"

"I've got NSA Director Faurer on the line. Is the Robin's egg blue?"

"The Robin's egg is red and white."

The operator connects the line and I find myself dodging surfers in wetsuits jaywalking across PCH while discussing President Reagan's new foreign policy initiative and a personal invitation to head to DC for an important meeting.

The surfers look really cold and I realize the wind is starting to pick up a bit. I look at my Seiko and see it's a quarter to five and if I don't get moving, I will get stuck in traffic. My vintage convertible does not like to get stuck and starts to overheat just idling through the drive-thru of a slow moving fast food restaurant. So I get ready to turn east, so I can hit the 405 before it starts to get all clogged up.

The state of the art Alpine am/fm cassette radio is playing "Ain't this the life" by Oingo Boingo. Edgy stuff and a bit anti-social. The hip local radio station, 91x, specializes in edgy new wave rock and they play Oingo Boingo, Depeche Mode and other stuff guaranteed to alienate the previous generation quite a bit.

A cute girl in a red BMW 3 series convertible pulls alongside.

"Nice car. What year is it?"

"It's a 1965 Pontiac."

"I love the whitewall tires!"

"Thanks. That's a nice car you got there yourself."

"Oh this? Thanks. Hey, would you like to get a bite to eat sometime?"

"Sure...call me." I pull out a personal card from my wallet. I put the car in park and hop out and hand it to the blond with a winning smile and a beautiful bikini...among other appealing attributes. She writes down her number on a small piece of paper and the light has already turned green. Someone in a Mercedes Benz 500sel is honking. I take the paper, smile and hop back into my car. I turn right at Via De La Valle and watch as she continues north.

The adrenaline is pumping a bit. I don't usually do the number exchange bit and its always a bit interesting to be pursued, rather than being the pursuer.

As I merge with the freeway traffic, something feels amiss. The wind buffets my hair and a semi rig is barreling down the second lane like a bat from hell. No one wants to let me in. Fine. I punch the Pontiac and 400 horsepower from the 421 tri-carb engine quickly take me to 80mph and I easily blow past the semi.

But there is that feeling again. It's like a deja vu but in reverse. Something is wrong. What is it? This is my life, but at the same time it feels like it isn't? Like I've forgotten something? Traffic is starting to congest at the freeway juncture and I can't shake this feeling that something is amiss.

I look at my watch. I try to remember when I bought it? Was it a gift? I can't remember it. Suddenly, something about the car seems off as well. Didn't my car have a 389 with a 4 barrrel instead of the 421 tri-carb when I bought it a few months earlier? I pull over and pop the latch on the hood and lift it. It's a 421 tri-carb with 3 shiny small chrome air cleaners in a row. But it shouldn't be. I remember the 389 with the four barrel.

It's making me crazy. I look around and everything seems right, yet somehow off at the same time. I look through my wallet. I see pictures. Lot's of pictures My God! I'm married to a beautiful woman and have two adorable daughters! How could I have forgotten them? Why on Earth did I accept that girls number? What sort of husband am I? When I see their picture in my wallet I know it's true, but why does it simultaneously seem wrong?

What the hell is going on? As I look up at the corner gas station even it seems wrong. This station should be a Texaco station. It's a Shell. But I know this corner had the Texaco station - I joked about the white glove restroom inspection with the clerk a few weeks ago...or did I? It seems sort of blurry now.

I just want to get back to my wife and kids. That will clear things up. But where do I live? I had a big place in La Jolla on Mt. Soledad with an ocean view, but my wife and I live in University City with our daughters, near the mall in a four bedroom tract home. Why do I remember two different houses? I close the hood, put my wallet back in my pants and start driving towards my University City home.

I stop and pull out my wallet again. I look at my California Driver's License and the name printed on it. It's all wrong.

That's not my name.

Is this what it feels like to lose one's mind? Did I hit my head and not realize it? What the hell is going on here with me?

I pull up into the driveway. My wife's white Volkswagen Jetta is in the driveway. I get to the door and my two beautiful daughters race up and each grab one of my legs.

"Daddy! You're home early! Yay!" says the oldest.

The television is on and the screen goes blank for a test of the emergency broadcasting system. A buzzing sound starts. I pick up my youngest daughter and I reach down to turn the TV off. Just as I reach the switch, my wife turns the corner and I see her.

She is lovely beyond words. Her smile resuscitates me. I give her a kiss and its like a zephyr breeze flows through my soul. She now kisses me and it is a passionate kiss, filled with her love. Her taste is on my lips and it is delicious and sweet.

I am so happy.

"A plane ticket arrived today by special courier for a flight to Washington DC. Do you have to go?"

"I'm supposed to go." I look around at my wife and daughters and I get this feeling - I don't want to leave them alone. "But, I think I will make some excuse and miss it. They can easily get along without me."

"That's wonderful."

My wife kisses me again and I wonder how I could ever have forgotten this woman. She is so wonderful...her every touch is filled with her warmth, kindness and love. But something is still out of place. I still see the other house in my mind and the enormous picture window. Whose house was that if not mine?

I hear a voice in my head. "It's time for you to go now." I crumple up the piece of paper, with the phone number in my pants and throw it in the trash. I suddenly realize I am about to leave and even as I kiss my daughter on the cheek, I feel myself slipping away.

I look up at Shayla, whose tears in the corner of her eyes reveals how hard this was for her to have to watch as well.

I try to hold back my own tears as I realize I will never see my wife or kids again, "That was the alternate universe you spoke of - the one where I am much happier. Was all that real?"

"Yes. As real as you and I standing here."

For once, I am speechless. I don't know what to say. My feelings, desires, dreams and obligations all dart inside my head at the speed of light. Part of me can't, or perhaps does not want to, keep up and so I just drift off and try to think about something else.

"She's working on it"

"Earth..."

"Yes?"

"Earth is in a loop where nuclear wars are now in almost every near future."

"What? What do you mean?"

"Starting a week ago...every single possible future of the Earth now features a prominent nuclear war which creates a chain reaction of consequences for humanity."

"What changed? What caused this? Something must've caused this, right?"

"I explained this to you. New worlds are having a negative influence on Earth's population. The events in North Korea, the Wikileaks affair, an approaching full blown US depression all lead to new international instability and confrontations."

"There must be a way to change the future now. Have you consulted with Yal-hune?"

"It's complicated. Many now believe Yal-hune's presence here crystallized this set of futures and our world's government is also of this view."

"That's ridiculous! Yal-hune is not to blame."

"No one believes she wanted this to happen. It just did happen - because her set of fields are simply too substantial not to create and attract a counter set of fields. When you see the bigger picture, every action has an equal and opposite reaction."

"I don't want to leave this world to its fates. If everything I've worked for is about to be flushed away, then I want to be here with a mop to try and at least keep it as orderly as possible. I'm curious as why you just didn't extend an invitation to your world if you don't want to see me suffer here? Why the elaborate parallel universe-time travel solution?"

"You know you couldn't remain on my world for any extended period and your anatomy is keyed into Earth, any life you live is best suited on Earth. But if you would like to visit - we would be glad to have you. Or if you really want to remain on our world, we could look into anatomical modifications or consciousness transfer into a compatible anatomy."

That's the first time Shayla has ever invited me for a long term stay on her world, so I know she is deadly serious about all this. I feel Yal-hune enter my consciousness and open a private area to communicate with her.

"Is this true Yal-hune? Are you aware of these things Shayla has related?"

"I am aware of the present future loop which seem to indicate an inescapable element to all of Earth's futures. However, I have seen such loops before and know they can be eliminated. No futures are ever inflexible. I have been working on resolutions and possibilities. I am aware, also, of Shayla's strong feelings for you and I know what she has seen which caused her to act. Shayla loves you, as I do, and some of these futures seem particularly unkind to you - personally."

"That doesn't sound good. Do I want details?"

"No. It is enough to know that you would be a focal point of some of these negative events."

Shayla turns to me - "Is that Yal-hune?"

"Yes. She and I are conversing. She doesn't think the loop is irreversible."

"Yes, but time is running out. Has she identified any temporal solutions?"

"She's working on it."

It is somewhat distressing to wonder just what awaits me in this present loop of unsavory outcomes and I wonder just what pasts I am now replaying that have elements of this type of catastrophic outcome. If I can identify and mitigate these imbalances in my fields which relate to and were formed by my own pasts, perhaps I can help break the present loop of negative possible futures.

"Good. I hope we are wrong and that Htra-deg and Yal-hune can find some other solution. We have crossed that threshold now where other worlds are now controlling the outcome of the Earth's future to a greater degree than humanity. This is not a good position for the Earth - or more importantly, humanity."

Decisions.

"What have you seen, Shayla? What happens that is going to make life here so horrible?"

"It's a combination of things. Nuclear attacks on US soil, a depression from which the US and the world never recovers, pestilence and new diseases...in less than 20 years time the America you know will be completely unrecognizable - gone. And with it will go the type of life you have lived up until now."

"And the parallel universe you want us to reappear in is so much better?"

"Yes. Your life without SDAI is much happier. You are not as frustrated, lonely or bitter and you make just as much of a difference - perhaps more so. In this time stream all you have worked for will be washed away - is being washed away - even as we speak. Your life will soon have little meaning here. The world will be in no position to absorb that which you wish to share and SDAI will soon cease to exist."

"What about Yal-hune? Surely she would tell me of these things and may even have a plan of her own to avoid them. Every moment she is aware of the changing futures of Earth based upon her actions. She would not let the Earth be flushed away!"

"Perhaps. Perhaps not. She is not emotionally attached to either you or the Earth. And she will be the first to tell you if everything goes to hell - it's really a good thing."

Shayla is right there. Yal-hune would tell me any future catastrophe is really good. The futures we visited were already dystopian and she said that these dystopias were already based on my past actions and not just future events. She would say that if this is what the Earth must go through - then that is what it must do and that everyone here gets a chance to face adversity and turn it into an opportunity for great strength and character building.

"Does Yal-hune know you are here with me...does she know of your plan?"

"I'm sure she is aware of it, and probably does not approve. That's why I wanted to get you here on my ship, where you are safely able to make your own decision without interference."

"C'mon Shayla...tell me the REAL story. What is it that you see that is so horrible. It's got to be more than what you are telling me."

"I can't tell you."

"It's ME Shayla! Please...please tell me."

"Okay,I will. Earth..."